1+1=1?

This weekend, a relative disagreed with me about gift giving for twins. I feel that twins should be given separate gifts and not asked to share one gift(and believe me this has happened numerous times). As babies it doesn't matter but now that they are aware of what birthdays are and it being a special time to celebrate them, it is important to think about. Now, this wouldn't make sense for large gifts, like a swing set, for instance. But those could be given at a different time, like Christmas and be a "family" gift when other siblings are included. For birthdays though, I think it is very important to recognize each child separately as an individual and show you took the time to pick out a gift unique to each child. Heck, they already have to share a birthday for the rest of their lives and almost everything else on a day to day basis. To give them one gift to open sends the message that are only important when together, or as a unit and don't matter as two distinct human beings. People would never consider getting siblings with close birthdays, just different years, one gift and told to share.

Joan Friedman Ph.D, a mother of twins and a twin herself says the following about birthday gifts.

What are the long-term benefits of buying individual gifts for twins?

Remember that you are sending an important message to twins about their life experience. Twins who have been treated as if they should be the same often live their lives expecting that they must maintain equality between themselves. This unspoken pact interferes with their freedom to be separate. The concept of equality and sameness needs to be talked about by twins and their families and replaced by a concept of twins as individuals.

The long-range goal is that buying different gifts for your twins will be one of the many ways that you give yourself and your twins the freedom to expect and appreciate their differences.
 

Here is the response from one woman when the question was posed on a message board whether it was ok to buy one gift for twins.

NO!! I am a identical twin and believe me EVERY year we always received one gift to share and we always felt sad and kinda of left out. Although we were very excited to receive anything having our own was always the BEST feeling. We share everything our rooms our clothes even one birthday cake :( . So for this one year we would have loved to receive one thing for ourselves. Besides having your own gift it just feel so much more special.

And here is another quote from an online article.

Twins Are Not Clones

Just because two people share a birthday and may look exactly alike; doesn’t necessarily mean they enjoy the same things. A good rule of thumb is, unless they have requested the exact same item; try to get them something different. If they have the same interests, you can always get them something similar but maybe a different version. Keep in mind that it’s not about spending a lot of money. You know the saying, “It’s the thought that counts,” well — that really is true. When you take the time to personalize the gift – by learning what each child’s individual interests are – you make them each feel special and important.

So, it's better to buy two cheaper gifts than one that costs more.