Here Comes Trouble: Sarah Will Be the Death of Us

Sarah is a natural born escape artist. Combined with an otherworldy level of flexibility and a smirk that lets you know she's constantly going to try and get away with something, she is adventurous, not accepting barriers that could otherwise get in her way. If it wasn't for Matthew, who serves as her underpaid but highly effective alarm system, who knows what kind of mischief she could achieve?

Although the two are twins, their nighttime rituals are quite different now. Matthew is simple. Put him in a set of PJs, place him in his crib and say goodnight. No issues. But for Sarah, this ritual involves putting a safety pin through the zipper of her outfit to prevent its removal, for if we left it as is, surely by midnight, she would be clothing-free, with diaper flung out of the crib as far as she could toss. Somehow, despite our work, she still often manages to remove said diaper, even if her clothing structure remains intact.

In parallel, while Matthew's crib faces out, letting him have full visibility to the room, Sarah's crib looks "backwards", facing the wall. Why? Because the escape artist learned to lift her leg high, like a ballerina, atop the crib's lip and flip herself out. Seconds later, she would walk to the door, turn the doorknob, and join us in the living room, as nonchalantly as anyone could. After having this happen no fewer than five times on Friday, we had enough and turned her crib around, much to her frustration.

Meanwhile, each time she jumped out, due to surprise or his concern for his sister's safety, Matthew sounded the alarm, crying out so we would solve the issue.

But not even this, apparently, was enough to solve Cirque De Sarah. This morning, again, I was awoken by Matthew crying in something of a panic. I enter the kids' room, and find Sarah hanging on to a single column dresser, like a monkey, for dear life. The lamp and lampshade which had been atop it, were cast askew on the floor, and whether she fell or jumped, she was sure to make that her next move.

Doorknobs are no match for Sarah, barring preventative locks. Gravity doesn't scare her. Clothing is optional. Gates simply present a challenge. Food is a suggestion that needs to pass her critical review. Matthew is a frienemy, as fun to hit as to hug. And despite all this, Sarah is an absolute delight. A scamp, but our scamp.